We've Never Had More Ways to Connect. So Why Are We Having Fewer Conversations?

There was a time when building a Direct Selling business involved an awful lot of talking to people.

I know. Revolutionary concept. 😂

You met somebody.

You got chatting.

You discovered you had something in common.

You found out what they did, what they liked, what they needed.

Sometimes that conversation led to a customer.

Sometimes it led to a recommendation.

Sometimes it led absolutely nowhere, except perhaps a new friendship.

And that was fine.

Because relationships weren't simply something we talked about in training sessions.

They were how we built our businesses.

Fast forward to today.

We've got Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Messenger, TikTok, Zoom, email, websites, customer databases, CRM systems, automation and now AI.

We can connect with somebody on the other side of the world without leaving the sofa.

We can find people with shared interests in seconds.

We can keep in touch with hundreds of customers.

We can remember birthdays, automate reminders, personalise communications and organise our entire business from a phone.

It's extraordinary when you think about it.

We've never had more ways to connect with people.

So here's my question.

Why does it sometimes feel as though we're spending less time actually talking to them?

And perhaps an even more uncomfortable question:

Have we become so busy creating content that we've forgotten what the content was supposed to help us do?

When Did Posting Become the Job?

I've spent more than 20 years in and around Direct Selling, and I've watched the industry go through some enormous changes.

Some brilliant.

Some necessary.

And some that I think deserve a little more questioning.

When social media first arrived, it was an incredible opportunity.

Suddenly, you weren't limited to the people living in your village, attending your parties or sitting in your existing address book.

You could meet new people.

Build communities.

Stay in touch with customers.

Share recommendations.

Start conversations.

And develop relationships with people you might never otherwise have encountered.

For an industry built around relationships, it should have been the perfect tool.

And in many ways, it was.

But somewhere along the line, something shifted.

Instead of asking:

"How can I use social media to meet more people?"

We started asking:

"What should I post today?"

Then:

"How often should I post?"

"What time should I post?"

"How do I get more reach?"

"Why isn't the algorithm showing my content?"

"Should I be making more Reels?"

And now:

"Can AI create 30 days of content for me?"

Don't get me wrong. These aren't necessarily bad questions.

But we've allowed them to become the main event.

We've turned the preparation for building relationships into something that looks suspiciously like the whole job.

And that's where I think we've lost something important.

The Illusion of Connection

Let's imagine you've got 2,000 Facebook friends.

You're in 15 Facebook groups.

You've got 1,500 Instagram followers.

You post regularly.

People like your photographs.

They occasionally leave a comment.

You get a few lovely heart emojis.

Brilliant.

But here's something I'd like you to think about.

How many of those people do you actually know?

Not recognise their profile picture.

Not vaguely remember that they once commented on your holiday photos.

Actually know.

What matters to them?

What are they interested in?

What challenges are they facing?

What makes them laugh?

What are they working towards?

When did you last have a proper conversation with them?

Because having access to somebody's social media profile isn't the same as having a relationship with them.

And somebody liking your post doesn't automatically mean you've made a meaningful connection.

We've become very good at measuring digital activity.

Followers.

Reach.

Engagement.

Views.

Impressions.

But none of those numbers tells you much about the strength of the relationships you're building.

You can have 5,000 followers and nobody who would particularly notice if you disappeared tomorrow.

Equally, you can have a relatively small audience and a business built on genuine trust, repeat customers and people who regularly recommend you.

I know which one I'd rather have.

Being connected isn't the same as connecting.

And I think that's a distinction worth remembering.

Have We Made Something Quite Simple Unnecessarily Complicated?

This is where I might upset a few people in the marketing world. 😂

Because I love technology.

I use AI every day.

I build marketing systems.

I work with automation, customer journeys, email marketing and business ecosystems.

I'm certainly not suggesting we throw away our laptops and return to knocking on doors with a catalogue.

Please don't.

But I do sometimes wonder whether we've made the business of connecting with people far more complicated than it needs to be.

Think about the amount of time somebody can spend preparing a single social media post.

Finding the idea.

Writing the caption.

Choosing the image.

Editing the image.

Checking the hashtags.

Scheduling it.

Checking the engagement.

Wondering why it hasn't performed.

Changing the strategy.

Watching another training session about the algorithm.

And then doing the whole thing again tomorrow.

Meanwhile, somebody they spoke to three weeks ago is still waiting for a follow-up.

A previous customer hasn't heard from them for six months.

A lovely conversation in a Facebook group was never continued.

And somebody who showed genuine interest in what they do has quietly disappeared into the depths of Messenger.

But at least they've got tomorrow's Reel scheduled.

We've become incredibly productive at creating things that look like business activity.

And sometimes remarkably good at avoiding the activity that might actually grow the business.

Because creating content feels safe.

You can sit behind your screen, perfecting the wording and choosing the right photograph.

Starting a conversation requires something different.

Curiosity.

Confidence.

Listening.

A willingness to be interested in somebody without knowing whether they'll ever buy anything.

And occasionally, a little courage.

The Problem Isn't That Conversations Have Moved Online

I want to be really clear about something here.

Because whenever I talk about Direct Selling losing its human connection, somebody inevitably says:

"Yes! We need to get back to talking to people face to face!"

And of course, face-to-face conversations are wonderful.

But that's not quite the point I'm making.

I don't believe we need to go backwards.

I don't believe the answer is to abandon social media, stop using technology or insist that every meaningful relationship has to begin across a kitchen table.

Some of the most valuable professional relationships I've built started online.

And that's precisely why I think the opportunity for Direct Selling is so enormous.

Technology has removed geographical barriers.

It's given us access to communities we might never otherwise have discovered.

It's made it possible to build relationships across towns, countries and continents.

It's allowed people to run businesses around families, jobs and other commitments.

Those are extraordinary advantages.

The problem isn't the screen.

The problem is when we start using the screen to broadcast at people rather than connect with them.

A thoughtful Messenger conversation can be every bit as valuable as a conversation over coffee.

A Facebook group can create genuine community.

A Zoom call can build trust.

An email can make somebody feel understood.

And a WhatsApp message can make a customer feel remembered.

The technology isn't what makes those interactions meaningful.

The people do.

What Would a Digitally Brilliant Relationship Builder Actually Do?

Now this is where I think things get really interesting.

Because rather than teaching people to produce more content, what if we taught them to become exceptional relationship builders using modern technology?

Imagine somebody joining a Direct Selling company today.

Instead of immediately handing them a library of 200 graphics and a training session on how to post three times a day, we taught them how to use the digital world to build a genuine network.

Not just a list of people to sell to.

A network of relationships.

We'd teach them how to discover communities where people share their interests.

How to contribute something useful to conversations already happening.

How to recognise opportunities to connect without turning every interaction into a sales pitch.

How to ask better questions.

How to listen.

How to follow up naturally.

How to stay in touch.

How to remember what matters to people.

How to use technology to make all of that easier.

Now that sounds like a modern Direct Selling business I'd be excited to build.

And here's what that could look like in practice.

1. Use social media to discover people, not just attract followers

Let's say you love gardening.

Instead of spending every evening trying to get more people to see your product posts, why not become an active, useful member of a gardening community?

Share your experience.

Ask questions.

Learn from other people.

Get involved.

Build relationships around something you genuinely enjoy.

Not because everyone in that group is a potential customer.

Because shared interests are a wonderful starting point for human connection.

And over time, people naturally become curious about each other.

That's how relationships work.

Of course, respect the community's rules and don't treat groups as prospecting lists.

People aren't leads simply because you've found them online.

2. Use AI to give yourself more time for people

This is one of the biggest opportunities I see.

Imagine using AI to help you organise customer information, prepare useful resources, identify common questions or draft thoughtful follow-up messages.

Imagine using automation to remind you when somebody might need replenishment.

Or to help you recognise customers who haven't ordered for a while.

Or to make sure an enquiry doesn't disappear because life got busy.

All of that can be enormously helpful.

But here's the important bit.

AI should help you remember to have the conversation, not pretend to be the person having it.

Use it to reduce the administration.

Use it to organise your business.

Use it to give yourself more time.

Then spend that time doing something human.

And naturally, use customer information responsibly, with appropriate consent and privacy safeguards.

3. Stop measuring everything by content performance

What if your weekly business review included a few different questions?

How many meaningful conversations did I have?

How many new people did I get to know?

How many existing customers did I reconnect with?

How many enquiries did I follow up?

How many people did I genuinely help?

How many customers came back?

How many recommendations did I receive?

And yes, how much actual business did all that activity generate?

Suddenly, we're measuring something much closer to business growth.

Not just how successfully we've entertained an algorithm.

4. Build a system that supports relationships

This is why I keep talking about the importance of a business ecosystem.

Because I don't want anybody's entire business to depend on remembering everything themselves.

Or endlessly publishing content and hoping somebody notices.

Your social media can help people discover you.

Your email marketing can keep you in touch.

Your CRM can help you remember important details.

Your automation can make sure nothing gets forgotten.

Your customer experience can encourage people to return.

And your conversations can turn all of that into something meaningful.

Each part has a job.

And the whole system should make it easier to build relationships, not harder.

That's technology working for the human advantage.

We Need to Stop Confusing Conversations With Sales Pitches

There's another important distinction here.

When I say we need more conversations, I don't mean sending 50 strangers a message saying:

"Hey hun! I've got an amazing opportunity I think you'd be PERFECT for!"

Please. No. 😂

Nor do I mean pretending to be interested in somebody's life for three messages before suddenly launching into a product presentation.

People can see through that.

And quite rightly, it makes them uncomfortable.

Genuine connection isn't a clever technique for disguising a sales pitch.

It means actually being interested in people.

Sometimes that leads to business.

Sometimes it doesn't.

And that's okay.

The point isn't to turn every conversation into a transaction.

It's to build the kind of relationships where trust, recommendations and opportunities can develop naturally.

That doesn't mean you should never ask for the sale.

Of course you should.

If somebody has a problem you can genuinely help solve, there's absolutely nothing wrong with explaining how you can help them and inviting them to buy.

That's selling.

But the conversation comes first.

And the relationship shouldn't disappear the moment somebody says no.

Here's a Challenge for This Week

I want you to try something.

And it might feel slightly uncomfortable if you've spent the last few years concentrating on content.

For one week, stop judging your productivity by how much you've posted.

Keep your existing content going if you want to.

But give yourself a different challenge.

Start five genuine conversations with people you don't normally speak to.

Not five sales pitches.

Not five unsolicited product messages.

Five conversations.

Perhaps there's somebody in a community you belong to whose contribution you found interesting.

Perhaps somebody commented thoughtfully on something you shared.

Perhaps there's a person you met at an event and never followed up with.

Perhaps there's an existing customer you haven't spoken to for a while.

Perhaps somebody has asked a question you could genuinely help answer.

Start there.

Be interested.

Ask something thoughtful.

Listen.

Don't rush to turn it into business.

And if a genuine opportunity to help somebody comes up, brilliant.

If it doesn't, you've still expanded your world a little.

Now imagine doing that consistently.

Not as a trick.

Not as a numbers game.

But as a deliberate part of how you build your business.

What might your network look like six months from now?

And how different might that be from spending six months trying to get another 200 views on your Reels?

The Human Advantage Was Never About Rejecting Technology

I think this is the part of the conversation that matters most.

Because I genuinely believe Direct Selling has an opportunity to become more relevant in the digital age, not less.

People still value recommendations.

They still appreciate somebody remembering them.

They still want to feel understood.

They still ask people they trust for advice.

They still enjoy belonging to communities.

And they still buy from people who make the experience better.

Technology hasn't made those things irrelevant.

It's given us extraordinary new ways to do them.

But only if we remember what we're trying to achieve.

The future of Direct Selling doesn't have to be a choice between old-fashioned face-to-face selling and modern digital marketing.

It can be something much more interesting.

A genuinely relationship-led business, supported by brilliant technology.

One where AI handles some of the repetitive work.

Where social media helps us discover new people.

Where automation helps us stay organised.

Where systems support better customer experiences.

And where the individual Direct Seller brings something technology can't simply manufacture.

Their personality.

Their curiosity.

Their experience.

Their judgement.

Their ability to listen.

Their ability to make another person feel seen, heard and valued.

That's the Human Advantage.

And I think we've only just begun to understand how powerful it could be.

So Perhaps We're Asking the Wrong Question

We've spent years asking:

"How can I get more people to see my content?"

And that's not necessarily a bad question.

But perhaps there's a better one.

"How can I use everything available to me to build more meaningful relationships?"

Because the goal was never to become the busiest content creator in your company.

It was to build a business.

And if we're spending more time preparing to communicate than actually communicating, perhaps something needs to change.

We've never had more ways to connect.

Maybe it's time we got much better at using them.

Not to broadcast louder.

Not to automate our personalities.

Not to collect more followers for the sake of it.

But to become more curious, more connected and ultimately more human.

Because I don't believe the next evolution of Direct Selling will be led by the people who create the most content.

I think it will be led by the people who use technology to build the strongest relationships.

And that's a future worth getting excited about.

Jac Hodges
Business Growth Strategist

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